You must start by complaining a lot.  A large part of being unhappy is that everyone around you should know it.  It also helps to bring them to your level should they be unfortunate enough to be having a good day.
 
You must also be sure to adopt the attitude that you are "deserving."  After all, this is America and we are supposed to be taken care of by someone else.  If we wanted to earn a living then we would have been born in our parent’s generation.  High salaries, long vacations and coffee breaks are all parts of our civil rights and not a privilege.
 
Become defensive and closed-minded.  If you open your mind to new ideas and motivation then you run the risk of being asked to change.  Keep your mind closed and think of yourself only.
 
Impatience is vital.  Follow the trends of contemporary society and prescribe to the notion that what you want is what you deserve and that you deserve it now!  Yea now, this very minute.  Not tomorrow, not next week and certainly not next year…right now!
 
Don’t be responsible.  That would require leadership skills and accountability.  After all, you took responsibility for something back in 1985.  It’s someone else’s turn now.  Responsibility means stress. If your decision does not go perfectly well, people will turn to you for guidance and leadership.  Plus, if you took responsibility, how could you possibly blame it on someone else?  Who needs it?
 
Avoid decision-making situations.  If you’re confused on this one, see #5 above.
 
Lack of self-confidence is instrumental.  Come on people…self-confidence leads to secretion of endorphins and some of that other stuff and that makes you feel good and all of a sudden you find yourself violating #4, 5, 1, 3… oh it could feasibly blow this whole thing apart.  To ensure unhappiness, it is fundamental that you avoid anything promoting self-confidence.
 
Eliminate all trust and faith from your life.  After all, it’s easy to justify not believing in something you can’t see.  Trust and faith give you hope, confidence and a positive outlook and I don’t have to begin to tell you what that will do to your unhappiness game plan.
 
Be sure to be self-centered and selfish.  Look out for number one baby!  He who gathers up the most in his box wins at the end of the game.  There’s no better way to be unhappy than to hoard it all for thyself.  All you need in this world is your “stuff.”
 
I saved the best for last.  Many sources will try to share the secrets of the ages.  They’ll try to show you proven techniques of the most successful people in history.  Recognize it for what it truly is.  It is merely principles and techniques to help you live a more successful and happy life.  As you seek to ensure unhappiness, avoid these sources of positive inputs like the plague.  It is frequent exposure to sources like these that is largely responsible for the conversion of millions of people to a more productive and memorable life.  In fact, what are you doing reading this article?  Go watch MTV or something else on TV that promotes meaningless sex and violence.  Don’t worry it won’t be hard to find…

Remember that the place to start to change the world is in your heart.