In Search of Joy

History is plastered with adolescent geniuses, political leaders and a myriad of the “Rich and Famous” personalities who have found that the worst thing about being at the top of the ladder is that you have the furthest to fall.  For the man or woman who would be fortunate enough to discover the magical potion of joy, life would become equivalent to winning a $40 million lottery with a $1 ticket.  Well, at least that is what so many of us believe.  You see, we are all in search of joy (and I do not mean the person…). 

We are desperately in search of the true definition of happiness, contentment, and a stress-free, worry-free lifestyle. 

So let us start by saying that the desire to seek these things is, by itself, a natural and reactionary goal resulting from the ever-evolving desires and expectations nurtured within our culture today.  To seek happiness and joy has been the basis for goal setting theories throughout the history of man.  If we agree that it continues to be a major goal by today’s standards, then why are we still experiencing incredible frustrations as we fail to get even a little closer?

I think our downfall can be reduced to one common fault.  I believe that those who have come before us and miserably failed at finding the secret to long term joy, also suffered from the same fault.  I am confident that many who will come after us will inevitably fall prone to this same fault.  This is a fault that can be best labeled by stealing (actually, I meant borrowing) the title of a song.  My friends, I believe the core reason we have failed at finding long-term joy is because we’re looking for it in all the wrong places.  Think about it…where do we look most for solutions and a pathway to joy?  We look to financial stability as a primary measuring tool.  We seek to orchestrate through professional and financial success.  At this point, you no longer think in terms of what you need, but in terms of what you want. We work diligently to reach that status, sometimes via two jobs.  Sometimes it is just keeping an eye out for a great get-rich-quick deal.  However, our history pages are infiltrated with those who achieved that level of financial success.  Unfortunately the ending of the stories are all too similar.  Endings which include depression, embezzlement, drug and alcohol abuse and suicide. Autobiographies warn of fake relationships, loneliness, rehabilitation and serious psychological damage.  But somehow, we think it will be different for us when we get there.  After all, when our ship comes in it will be so sturdy that we can weather any storm.  Remember those were the same words that were used in bragging about the Titanic.

There is an incredibly easy way to achieve long term joy!  People aren’t seeing it because of three major reasons.  First, it would require a change of attitude and that simply sounds like too much work.  After all, why change now…I’m almost there.  Just two more years, working three jobs and I can earn enough to buy something that’s real cool (and typically some thing that will put you in debt for another ten years).  Remember, "if you keep on doing what you have been doing then you’re gonna keep on getting what you’ve been getting." 

The second reason is that if “everybody” is doing it then it must be the only way.  With that philosophy I would encourage you to secure a life jacket.  Because “everybody’s” boat is on the stormy seas and I once read that the only difference between your boat and the Titanic is that they at least had a band.  If “everyone” jumped off the edge of a cliff, would you follow them?  (All of a sudden I have an urge to go call my Mom.)  Anyway I think you get the point.  If their plan hasn’t worked yet, then I would give it slim odds of coming up a winner. 

The third reason is that in order to go a different way, we’re going to need to change some habits.  We are going to need to change the way that we have done certain daily activities.  This piece of the puzzle requires time and dedication so only do it if you are really interested in long term joy.

The solution to the problem is fascinating enough to lend itself to an entire book…(hmmm).  But here is a quick and viable way to get yourself started in the right direction.  Find someone who is on the right path.  Think about it, we are all so used to doing it the wrong way by following the examples of those who have failed before us.  Well, what if we started doing what the successful people do?  Most of us can think of people that we know who seems to be happy all of the time.  It could be a cousin, teacher, minister or if we are lucky enough, maybe even a parent.  Each of us has a natural tendency to be attracted (in a non-romantic sense) to a mentor.  Moreover, if we were to list out verbs that describe him/her, the odds are good that they may fit our definition of someone who really seems to have a spirit of joy.  We spend so much time learning from the wrong examples that consequently we experience the wrong outcomes. 

The solution is really that simple.  Do what joyful people do and you too can have what the joyful people have.  One immediate thing that you will notice is that joyful people seem to always be filled with gratitude.  They have mastered the art of celebrating what they have versus focusing on what they do not have.  There is a caution sign at this turn that says you need to be careful how you define “joyful.”  Definitions for “happy” and “joy” will need to be addressed in a whole different article but here is a quick guideline.  Make sure that their happiness and joy is not linked to a materialistic object, possession or earthly person.  True joy is a sensation of the heart and can survive loss of possessions and is not financially driven.  It transcends circumstances.  It is usually accompanied by a sense of peace, purpose and hope in the future.  Continue to watch what the unhappy people do just so that you can be sure of what not to do.  Before you know it, your ship will be sailing in the calm seas… hey; you might even have a good band on-board.

Remember that the place to start to change the world is in your heart.

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